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Critical Booty Call Agreement Form: :-)
This pre-booty call agreement
(hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement") is entered into on the
_____day of __________, 2007, by_______________________, between
____________and______________.
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE
FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it
is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except
for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we
don't have sh*tto talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking"
sh*t- only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions
(i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The
answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance -
that is why you are called the "backup," unless you are from
out-of-town, then it's only a
one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is
always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty
talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons
with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other
"friends with privileges" we are not friends, just sex buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name
during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't
want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right
after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed and go the
**** home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't
ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for
any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are,
the standard response will be: "My roommate's
girlfriend/boyfriend."
17. Doggie style is the
preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
18. No condoms, no ****ing.
Carry your ass home.
19. Bring your own drink - I am
not your liquor store.
20. No phone use, please - don't
want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY
CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may
only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party
attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will
automatically become null and
void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted
from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED
from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating Party
Signature____________
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